Published

It’s official. I’m published.

You know when you look at or say a word so much it sounds silly and meaningless? That’s how “published” feels right now.

The word stems from Latin. Publicare- to make public, to declare, to make known.

Ick.

I’m in my Noah Kahan era at the moment, and there is a lyric of his in No Complaints that has been echoing in my mind lately. In love with being noticed and afraid of being seen.

In that one sentence, he captures the absolute terror of creating. I want my work to be noticed. To be read and to be loved and enjoyed. Please, just leave me out of it.

But the art cannot be separated from the artist.

I dumped my thoughts and feelings into a novella and then presented it to the world without much pomp or circumstance. I hope that the world is gentle with me.

I didn’t tell many people about publishing my novella. I want there to be a firm and clear separation between the person and the writer. But it’s simply not possible.

So I told some people. And my husband told some people. And my friends told some people.

And the support has been nothing short of overwhelming.

Praise and surprise and pride and all sorts of positive emotions have been directed toward me. And I am ever so grateful for it.

I guess I’ll keep pouring those thoughts onto the pages and hope that people don’t get bored of it. Or get bored of me.

So, thank you. For the overwhelming support. I’m going to try to let it lift me up instead of weigh me down. It’s a process. I’m sure I’ll get it eventually.